Anxiety is a strange beast. Very few people truly understand it unless of course they’ve experienced it and even then there are so many different levels of anxiety. Even thinking about whether someone else “gets what you’re experiencing” can cause some further anxiety.
Sure, everyone gets nervous at times and can feel overwhelmed but an anxiety attack can be truly debilitating. Having been on beta blockers (for my heart) all of my adult life and being a natural extrovert I have never worried about social anxiety or nerves when in the spotlight etc but late last year for the first time I experienced something I hadn’t even ever thought about…a full-on anxiety spell. For an entire week I lived in a perpetual state of fear and the worst part was that I couldn’t pinpoint what exactly triggered it. Even the simplest decisions felt monumental and all I wanted to do was retreat. As with life it forcing one to face ones fears and very few people have the luxury of hiding away and waiting out an anxiety period.
Again this year after the break-in I began to experience the worst anxiety of my life. I felt like I was constantly living on the edge and in a fear that was not normal. I felt afraid and didn’t know how to “snap out of it”. It has been over a month now and I still have nights where I lie awake thanks to anxiety-induced insomnia but am slowly processing everything and hopefully getting back to a state of my normalcy.
I have no idea whether these personal posts resonate with any of you but I feel that at times one needs to share the “real” side and that the life of a blogger isn’t always perfect because no ones life is perfect. I always try to remain professional on here and keep up with posting regularly because the blog is something which makes me immensely happy. It is also the one constant in my life at this point and I’ll keep blogging until it no longer does.